2015年4月22日 星期三

愛麗絲出版150周年紀念10月將在紐約舉辦

https://files.acrobat.com/a/preview/c85aff6c-d5ce-4c4b-a588-18417f173d48
日期:2015.10.7-8
Alice in a World
of Wonderlands
The Translations
of Lewis Carroll’s Masterpiece
地點:紐約The Grolier Club, 47 East 60th Street, New York
由北美卡洛爾學會(Lewis Carroll Society of North America)主辦,大會將出版一本全球各種語言版本的一覽,我是中文版的編輯之一。
歡迎結伴參加。

2015年3月22日 星期日

「另有要公,不克出席」的英文翻譯

翻譯有時是文字上可譯,但文化上不可譯。照文字直譯會造成不必要的誤會,反而達不到翻譯的目的。以下是個例子:
朋友來郵問我:『「另有要公,不克出席」要寫的文謅謅的英文怎麼寫?』
 我的回答:
May I request to be excused from attending the [meeting/dinner on DATE] due to other scheduled activity.
這翻譯有兩個不「信」之處:
一、「要公」這種中式官腔老老實實翻成due to other [more] important business,言下之意,對方的邀請沒那麼重要,不值得參加,無意中得罪了對方。
二、scheduled(預訂的)為原文所無,目的是加強說明缺席萬不得已,屬於英文的門面話。

2015年3月17日 星期二

Thief and Enemy 寇讎

譯者許瑞宋Thief and Encmy 中回應我的翻譯說明體的風險:以《譯藝譚》為例一文,點出thief and enemy是一個詞組,是我當初沒注意到的。這詞組的字面和意思和中文的「寇讎」很像。網路上有Time, which had been a thief and enemy的說法(Redeeming the Time: A Christian Approach to Work and Leisure),剛好和例題相呼應。

我把原文:

In places like Madumbi, time seems more of a thief and enemy than in crowded cities or even in circles where the months are frittered away in useless leisure.At Madumbi life was a packed routine; work began at half-past five or six in the morning; fatigue often precluded thought; and the tired eyes, turning towards clock or calendar, would close in sleep.

改譯成:

類似馬都比這種地方,時間就像強行入侵的小偷或敵兵;但在大城市甚或某些社會階層,時間卻是任人隨意排遣,大把揮霍在無所用的休閒上。在馬都比,生活就是沒片刻間斷的刻板工作,從早上五點半或六點開始。頭腦經常疲憊得無法思考,看著日曆或時鐘的眼睛,往往勞累得一闔上就睡著了。(131)

經過許先生的改譯,減少了24字,是一大改進:

在大城市以至某些圈子中,人們可以將大把時間耗費在無益的休閒上;在馬都比這種地方,時間卻有如生命的盜賊和敵人:生活是密集的刻板工作,早上五點半或六點便開始;人常累得無法思考,疲憊的眼睛看著日曆或時鐘,一合上便能睡著。(107)

假如不拘泥於原文thief and enemy的字面意思,也許可以改成:

時間似乎對馬都比這類地方特別不友善。在大城市甚或某些社會階層,時間可以大把揮霍在無益的休閒上;在馬都比,生活則是密集的刻板工作,早上五點半或六點就開始。頭腦疲憊得無法思考,看著日曆或時鐘的眼睛,往往累得一闔上就睡著了。(109)


2015年3月16日 星期一

翻譯說明體的風險:以《譯藝譚》為例

譯者許瑞宋先生的網誌以《丁丁譯論:說明體》為題,討論譯者添加解釋文字的必要(http://victranslates.blogspot.tw/2015/03/blog-post.html?showComment=1425976471336#c161361580601707352 ),我回應「……譯者充當解人,有時要承當解釋過度或解釋錯誤的風險。」許先生回答:「我同意。在此例中,我願意承當這風險。如果是文學書,我應該不會強作解人。」這是勇敢而且負責任的態度,但就算經驗豐富的譯者,有時也會在添加說明時失焦。黃邦傑先生的新編《譯藝譚》(123)把添加解釋稱為「解釋性加詞」,也說:「我認為譯者在不得已時對原文加以解釋(interpret)是必要的,他的解釋容或有錯,但他的態度是積極的。」不過,該文中所舉的例句翻譯的解釋文字有問題

In places like Madumbi, time seems more of a thief and enemy than in crowded cities or even in circles where the months are frittered away in useless leisure.
為了向讀者解釋「時間」為什麼會像「一個小偷或是一個敵人」,黃先生補充翻譯成:

[原譯] 在馬都比這種地方,時間就像一個小偷或是一個偷襲的敵人,悄悄地來,又悄悄地走了像這種情景,就連那些徒然浪費大好時光的大城市甚或社交小圈子,似乎都不如馬都比嚴重
根據黃先生的說明,以上紅字部分是他添加的說明;不過細讀之下,卻會發現明顯的問題:小偷或是敵人「悄悄地來,又悄悄地走了」不是常態,違反了一般比喻的修辭原則,因為小偷被活逮、士兵陣亡比比皆是,不見得能來去自如。原譯最後一句意謂馬都比的人浪費時間的情況比大城市甚或社交小圈子還嚴重也大有問題,因為緊接下來的原文(懷疑黃先生沒看到這一段,幸好網路剛好找得到)描述的是馬都比人的慘狀: 

At Madumbi life was a packed routine; work began at half-past five or six in the morning; fatigue often precluded thought; and the tired eyes, turning towards clock or calendar, would close in sleep.
[翻譯見下文]

想要說明「時間」為什麼會像「一個小偷或是一個敵人」,要先從「小偷或敵兵」的常態特性著手:不受歡迎、強行入侵、不請自來、人人喊打、逮之而後快、見不得光……。根據這個分析,也許可以改譯為:

[改譯] 類似馬都比這種地方,時間就像強行入侵的小偷或敵兵;但在大城市甚或某些社會階層,時間卻是任人隨意排遣,大把揮霍在無所用的休閒上。在馬都比,生活就是沒片刻間斷的刻板工作,從早上五點半或六點開始。頭腦經常疲憊得無法思考,看著日曆或時鐘的眼睛,往往勞累得一闔上就睡著了。





2015年3月14日 星期六

呂叔湘先生的《伊坦·弗洛美》翻譯


偶然從網路發現呂叔湘先生翻譯的《伊坦·弗洛美》(Ethan Frome,普利茲獎得主、美國作家伊迪絲華頓Edith Wharton 在1911年出版的小說)全文(http://211.67.182.138/date/books/009/79349.pdf),重要的是文後附有王宗炎先生寫的《從老手學新招》,點出呂叔湘先生譯文的高明之處,對有志學譯的人有重大的啟發作用。以下是該文的節錄加上我的整理,部分已是愛讀譯的朋友耳熟能詳的:

......遠在好幾年前,葉聖陶先生就指出過呂譯有文章之美。這美,是有目共睹的。我們試就本書引一段看看:
他到郝爾家把灰色馬牽出,開始走上回家的上坡路。外邊的寒冷已經不及早半天利害,沉重的雲空預示明天又要下雪。這兒,那兒,穿出三五顆疏星,透出背後的深藍色。再過一兩點鐘,月亮就要從自己田莊背後的山頭升起,在雲堆裡燒出一條金邊的裂縫,又慢慢的被雲吞沒。一種荒涼的寧靜掛在田野之上,好像它們也感覺寒威稍減,在它們的漫漫的冬眠之中伸伸腳。
He fetched the grays from Hale's stable and started on his long climb back to the farm. The cold was less sharp than earlier in the day and a thick fleecy sky threatened snow for the morrow. Here and there a star pricked through, showing behind it a deep well of blue. In an hour or two the moon would push over the ridge behind the farm, burn a gold-edged rent in the clouds, and then be swallowed by them. A mournful peace hung on the fields, as though they felt the relaxing grasp of the cold and stretched themselves in their long winter sleep.
這是散文的妙品,大概誰也不會否認的。這裡有的是繁複而深奧的意思,很不容易傳達出來,可是呂譯卻那麼明快爽朗,毫無格格不吐之病。田野要在漫漫的冬眠之中伸伸腳they the fields……stretched themselves in their long winter sleep),這是一個新奇而深刻的意象,在別的譯者筆下,恐怕要變成異常晦澀的句子了。(但是好像它們……”似乎不如好像這些田野……”)呂譯的另一特點,是富於風趣。讀了它,你往往發笑,而且這笑裡往往還有辣味、酸味。大家知道,幽默是在翻譯裡極難保存的一種風格,———多少原著裡的妙句,在一般譯文裡變成了蠢話!———可是在呂先生的生花妙筆之下,原文的幽默味非但沒有沖淡,反而變得更濃:
……“我是個雜症她說。
伊坦知道這是個異常嚴重的字眼兒。鄰近這一帶差不多個個人都有毛病說得出病在何處,怎麼個樣兒;但是只有少數不凡的人才有雜症雜症能抬高你的身份,雖然往往也就是閻羅王的請帖。許多人有毛病可以帶病延年一年年混下去,可是一有雜症十有九就完了。
Ethan knew the word for one of exceptional import. Almost everybody in the neighbourhood had "troubles," frankly localized and specifiedTo have them was in itself a distinction, but only the chosen had "complications." though it was also, in most cases, a death-warrant. People struggled on for years with "troubles," but they almost always succumbed to "complications."
呂先生在這兒用雜症來譯complications,真是恰當不易。Only the chosen had “complications譯成只有少數不凡的人才有雜症,把一個沒病而愛裝病的女人的心理活生生地畫了 出來。People struggled on for years with troubles 譯成許多人有毛病可以帶病延年一年年混下去,庸人自擾的情態,躍然紙上。 但是呂譯最大的長處還是對話。他的對話確是話,清楚,乾脆,念得上口,聽得入耳,像漂亮的戲劇對白那樣討人歡喜。聽吧:
唉,他的日子不太好過,哈蒙說。一個人坐在家裡二十多年,眼看著許多該做的事情做不了,您說他焦不焦?有勁兒沒勁兒?弗洛美家那 幾畝地自來就是貓兒舐過的牛奶鍋兒似的光溜溜地;那些個老磨坊今日之下還值幾個錢兒您總也知道。早年弗洛美能打天亮到天黑磨古它們的時候,還對付勒!點兒什麼出來;可是就在那個時候,他一家人幾張嘴兒也就把那點兒吃盡喝光,這會兒他怎麼混來著我可想不出。先是他爹在地裡割草的時候摔了一跤,腦子有了毛病,花錢像施善書,好幾年才死了。接著他媽又出了怪,吃喝起倒都得人招呼,像個小孩兒,又拖上好幾年;再就是他的女人,細娜,她自來就是個愛吃藥的。病痛和禍害,這是伊坦的家常便飯,從他能吃飯時候算起。
"Well, matters ain't gone any too well with him," Harmon said. "When a man's been setting round like a hulk for twenty years or more, seeing things that want doing, it eats inter him, and he loses his grit. That Frome farm was always 'bout as bare's a milkpan when the cat's been round; and you know what one of them old water-mills is wuth nowadays. When Ethan could sweat over 'em both from sunup to dark he kinder choked a living out of 'em; but his folks ate up most everything, even then, and I don't see how he makes out now. Fust his father got a kick, out haying, and went soft in the brain, and gave away money like Bible texts afore he died. Then his mother got queer and dragged along for years as weak as a baby; and his wife Zeena, she's always been the greatest hand at doctoring in the county. Sickness and trouble: that's what Ethan's had his plate full up with, ever since the very first helping."
你聽,這不是鄉下老兒講故事的聲口嗎?多麼寫實,多麼逼 真,多麼夠味兒!但是和原文一對,才知道譯者在這幾句話上花 的工夫可大了。貓兒舐過的牛乳鍋兒似的光溜溜地原文是 as bare s a milkpan when the cats been around,譯者把一個子句縮成了短語,免致太嚕嗦他一家人幾張嘴兒也就把那點兒吃盡喝光原文是 his folks ate up everything,譯者添了幾個字使文氣舒暢,更像口語。可是最值得佩服的還是病痛和禍害,這是伊坦的家常便飯,從他能吃飯時候算起。這句話原文是 Sickness and trouble: that’s what Ethan’s had his plate full with, ever since the very first helping. 我起先看到這話,想了半天想不出一個人人看得懂的譯法,那曉得呂譯竟那麼明暢老練!為什麼呂譯能有這樣高的成就呢?我以為首先是因為,原文的意義,譯者辨認得十分真切。原文每字每句的含義和情調,譯者都看得清清楚楚,有了充分把握,所以翻譯時放膽下筆,有 如齊白石作畫,不斤斤於形似,而神氣自然逼肖。試舉幾個例子:
 1. In a sky of iron the points of the Dipper hung like icicles and Orion flashed his cold fires. 
在鐵色的天空,北斗的星點象冰柱,南天的獵戶星射出寒冷的光芒。
2. It was a slow trudge home through the heavy fields. 
在積雪很深的田畝間走路快不了。
3. But the bay was as good as Frome’s word, and we pushed on to the Junction through the white wild scene.
但是那老栗馬不辜負弗洛美的話,我們在漫天風之中終於到達車站。
在下面這些句子裡,呂先生 顯出了他的語言學的知識和藝術家的手腕:
1. They turned at the gate and passed under the shaded knoll where, enclosed in a low fence, the Frome gravestones slanted at crazy angles through the snow.
他們走進了籬笆門,在一道矮矮的石牆圍住的弗洛美家的墓園旁邊走過。那裡邊多少塊墓碑在雪地裡橫斜倚伏
2. Despair seized him at the thought of her setting out alone to renew the weary quest for work.
想起她一個人出去重新登上找工作的艱辛的路途,覺得萬念俱灰
3. Mattie s hand was underneathand Ethan kept his clasped on it a moment longer than was necessary.
瑪提的手在下,伊坦把它握住,沒有立刻就放
4. These alterations of mood were the despair and joy of Ethan Frome.
她這種一會兒一個情調,叫伊坦時而灰心,時而高興。
呂譯的句子結構,是極其活潑的。他竭力忠於原文,要和它靠近,但是他深知各種語言自有其特殊的習慣和性能,所以從不 削足適履,強迫中文死守外文的規律。為了譯文的明暢流利,他大膽地省略了一些原文有而中文用不著的介詞、連詞、關係代 詞。在下面這些句子中,我們可以看出大匠運斤,得心應手之妙:
1. The builder [Hale] refused genially, as he did everything else.
 郝爾的拒絕是很婉轉的,這人無往而不婉轉
2. Business is pretty slack, to begin with, and then I’m fixing up a little house for Ned and Ruth, when they’re married.
一來是生意清淡,二來我正預備給納德和路德蓋個小房子,他們快結婚了
3. She s a pauper that’s hung onto us after her father'd done his best to ruin us.
她是個小叫花子,她的父親拐了我們大家的錢,這會兒她又賴在我們身上。
4. The blood rushed to his thin skin under the sting of Hale s astonishment.
郝爾一臉的詫異之色伊坦反而面紅耳赤的不好意思起來。  
5. For the life of her smilethe warmth of her voiceonly cold paper and dead words
沒有了她的活潑的笑容,沒有了她的溫暖的聲音,只有冷的紙和死的字!
呂先生是中國語法家,中文有而外文沒有的各種特殊詞性 和句法,他都有深刻的認識,因此行文如行雲流水,意到筆隨,極富於自然之趣。他的譯文有中國風味、中國氣派,是活譯而非死譯,讀起來流暢親切,幾乎像讀原文那樣:
1. Come along! Get in quick! It’s as slippery as thunder on this turn.
來罷!快點兒上來!這一截子滑得要命呢!
2. That thrust had frightened him more than any vague insinuations about Denis Eddy.
這一枝冷箭比鄧尼斯·伊迪呀什麼的更叫他驚惶。
3. She stood perfectly still, looking after him, in an attitude of tranquil expectancy torturing to the hidden watcher.
她站在那兒一動也不動,望著他的後影,她的安詳地期待的態度可把黑地裡守著的那個急壞了
4. . . . Mattie was bound to make the best of Starkfield since she hadn’t any other place to go to.
……瑪提不喜歡斯塔克菲爾也得喜歡,因為她沒有第二個 地方可去。
可是,呂譯最不可及的地方,我覺得還是用詞的考究和恰當。呂先生的中文辭彙是那麼驚人地豐富,無論是古文、白話、 成語、俗諺、行話、切口,他都兼收並蓄,到了下筆翻譯的時候,簡 直是源源而來,左宜右有。原文有許多詞句,別人搜索枯腸總找 不到適當的譯語,呂先生卻是信手拈來,恰到好處:
1. Now and then he turned his eyes from the girls face to that of the partner, which, in the exhilaration of the dance, had taken on a look of impudent ownership.
他時而轉移他的目光從女子的臉上到她的舞伴的臉上,那張臉在跳舞的狂熱之中儼然有 佳人屬我的精神
2. He had even noticed two or three gestures which, in his fatuity, he had thought she kept for him.
他甚至注意到兩三個姿勢,他一向癡心以為是保留給他的。
3. Zeena herself, from an oppressive reality, had faded into an unsubstantial shade.
連細娜這人也由咄咄逼人的實體褪成一個虛無縹緲的影子
4. Now, in the warm, lamplit room, with, all its ancient implications of comformity and order, she seemed infinitely farther away from him and more unapproachable.
這會兒在溫暖的有燈亮的屋子裡頭,自古以來的倫常和規矩好像都擺在這兒,她變成遼遠而不可接近
5. At Worcester, though he had the name of keeping to himself, and not being much of a hand at a good time, he had secretly gloried in being clapped on the back and hailed as Old Ethe or Old Stiff.
在烏司特上學的時候,他是有名的孤獨朋友,對於賞心作樂完全外行,可是偶爾有人拍拍他的背,叫他一聲老伊老傻,他嘴裡不說,心裡可高興。