王建的「新嫁娘」英譯

王建的「新嫁娘」英譯

蘇錦坤先生日前將王建的「新嫁娘」

三日入廚下，

        洗手作羹湯；

未諳姑食性，

        先遣小姑嚐。

譯成英文：

Three days after my wedding ceremony I go to the kitchen, wash my hands to cook my first meal;

Since I do not know how my mother-in-law prefers the taste, I ask my young sister-in-law to try it for me.

(詳見http://yifertw.blogspot.tw/2014/12/blog-post_22.html)

並要我們提供其他譯法。我一時技癢，試譯如下

        To the kitchen I go, on the third day of my wedding,

        And wash my hands before start with the cooking.

        Not knowing my mother-in-law's preference for food,

        I ask her young daughter to taste first if it is good.

幾經修改，最後變成：

        I go to the kitchen on the third day of my bridehood,

        Where I wash my hands for the family's first daily food.

        Not quite knowing the preference of my mother-in-law,

        I ask her younger daughter to taste if my soup is good.

有幾點要說明：

1. 各行都是14音節(7音步Heptameter)、以aaba方式押韻，大致反映原詩的基本形式。

2. 用bridehood補充說明「三日」的意思，同時兼有押韻的功能。依bride+hood方式構詞，雖不是常態字彙，但符合構詞規則，為Wiktionary所接受。

3. 小姑的直譯應是my sister-in-law，在英文是多義詞，反而不知所云，在選詞上是減分，故改用her (my mother-in-law's) younger daughter，除了關係清楚，還可補充說明小姑最知道媽媽的味道，為翻譯加分。此外，在修辭上mother-in-law與sister-in-law構造類似而累贅，望之令人生厭，不但給人詞窮的感覺，也犯了英詩、英文寫作的大忌。